Calgary Stampede 100th Anniversary: Horses, Cow Vaginas & Surfing!


I had no idea this entry would get so long!  So fair warning…there are lots of pictures from my Stampede visit! 😉

I spent my first day in Calgary visiting the Calgary Stampede! Not a destination I would’ve chosen for myself but Sarah has much experience attending with her family and told me she’d take me to the fun stuff.  When I continued to balk, she also suggested that I view the Stampede as an anthropological experiment, studying the cowboy culture in all its glory.  I could work with that, so I said “sure!” after I clarified that under no conditions would I be wearing cowboy boots 😉

The Stampede wasn’t remotely what I expected! There was SO much going on, so much to see, it was fun!…in many ways it reminded me of the Toronto Royal Winter Agricultural Fair, only bigger.

Scroll down for pics and commentary on:

Working Cow Horse Classic competition
Interesting People on site
Artistic Endeavours on site
Native Village
Fake Cow Vagina! (Yep, you read that right)
Surfing!
Stampede Food

My day actually started with an interesting wake-up.  At first, around 5:30AM, I woke up to chattering birds.  Turns out they were magpies.  Really cool looking black & white birds that sound sort of like a cross between a quack and a cat being stepped on.

About a dozen of them were having a grand ‘ol time gossiping outside my bedroom window.  I tried for pictures, failed, decided “Screw it! It’s my first vacation morning and 6am can bite me!” and went back to sleep. Turns out,  I DID get a nice picture of my first Calgary sunrise 🙂

So yes, back to sleep I went! For about an hour.

At that point, Miss Maggie decided that my toes were awesome morning prey and I woke up to this:

Com’on toes! Move! I dares ya!

 And like any feline, once Maggie realized I was awake, it was cuddle time!

I’m cute. Pet me! Or I’ll cut you!

So, yeah, I was up pretty early my first day of vacation. But that’s okay because it allowed us to prepare for STAMPEDE!!

My first five minutes in Calgary, I got carded!! Talk about making a girls day!  Both Sarah and I decided to pee in the Cowboys Casino.  Because that’s what you do.
You see a casino, you think “pee!”

(Those of you who were around years ago for the Halifax Casino/Depends news story can just keep that to yourself! Blech!)

And of course, being carded required a picture!

Look at us two young’uns!

After a much-needed pee, we headed to a Stampede event, the only actual horse-riding event we watched, the Working Cow Horse Classic competition.  This involved a horse and rider chasing down a rogue calf and directing it where they wanted it to go.

Although I know little about horsemanship and cutting cattle, I admit I found the event somewhat enthralling.  After the first few competitors, I began to see the differences in approach and skill.  I began to really notice when rider and horse were completely in synch, riding as one, and it was pretty incredible. It was as though they knew exactly what that calf was going to do before he did, and they were able to share those thoughts and move in complete harmony.

Beautiful horse!

Those calves were wily!

A sudden stop!

As I mentioned, there was lots of cool stuff to see around the Stampede beyond the  horse and cattle competitions, including some interesting people….

My camera settings were off…but I couldn’t let this outfit go!

Awesome living statue in the Oasis area of the Stampede!

Another living statue…

There were a few living statues in the Oasis section of the Stampede, a beautiful indoor arts market and wine bar with water fountains and soft lighting surrounding the area: it was the complete opposite of the chaos taking place outside!

The statues were great! A couple of times, they reacted to cameras by glancing at the lens for your shot, but otherwise, they did…well, what statues do. The male statue kept a straight face even though there were about a dozen people, including myself, hovering around him taking pics…not to mention, the two kids who were in his space, checking him out. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about to keep himself so still.

So, cool people on site and some cool artistic endeavours too….

Love the old coach with the trunk on the back!

Awesome sand castle!

Treasure trunk made of sand

Next up was the Native Village…there were some lovely performances taking place, not to mention some beautiful wares for sale and a village of amazing tepees constructed just for the Stampede!  A couple of them were open to visitors, which was very kind considering each teepee was functioning as a home for a family while they were on site, so they were effectively allowing us into their private space.

tepees, huge and beautiful!

Inside one of the tepees

Nom nom nom

How did that get on my head?

Native jingle dance

Moving on…

The fake cow vagina!

I didn’t necessarily want to stick my arm in there.  It was strange enough walking around a corner to suddenly see the holes of two fake cows, well technically half-cows as they were missing the front end, without a woman who was standing next to them asking if I’d like to stick my arm in there.

Initial reaction? “Stick my arm in a cow vagina? No freakin’ way!”

But she countered my argument with, “One is pregnant and one isn’t AND I have powder for your hand and arm. It’s all rubber.”

Um. Not convincing!

But eventually, Sarah and I agreed to both do it!  We looked at each other said, “When will we ever have the chance to stick our arm up a cow’s vagina again? Never!”

And besides, this is my vacation and I am fearless, damnit! 😛

It’s a fake vagina! Honest!

What the hell is THAT? Someone’s watch?

Wheeee! Sarah enjoyed the vagina too!

 Surfing!

Yep, I do not lie.  Calgary’s Stampede had surfing on site!

There were about a dozen people taking part and the current was strong enough to eject the bodies upwards after a wipeout!

And now I understand why people watch surfing.  Wipeouts are funny when they aren’t happening to you! 😉

And finally, what does one eat at the Calgary Stampede?  

Alberta Beef and Deep Fried Oreos of course!!

So first off, I had to have an authentic Albertan beef sandwich. I let Sarah choose the place and we ordered.

The beef was damn good!! Sadly, too big for me to finish!  (Sorry, B! You missed out on half of an awesome sandwich!)

No, we weren’t hungry. Not at all. 😉

And for dessert?  Deep fried OREOS!!

Sarah said she’d order them so I could try one.  I’ve historically avoided the deep-fried weirdness that you find at such large-scale events.
Best example? The Canadian National Exhibition in Toronto.

Deep-fried cola deep-fried fudge, deep-fried kool-aid, even deep-fried butter! And that doesn’t even cover the weirdness of a Krispy Kreme Burger!

But this was a day of firsts and us being fearless (I put my ARM in a cow’s vagina for gods’ sake!) so deep-fried Oreos were a YES!

Wheee! Battered and oiled up Oreo cookies! 😉

I DID go into the experience with a mild bit of hesitation….

This is my WTF? face.

But with a little bit of encouragement….I bit into…

…savoury goodness!

 I wouldn’t eat these all the time…probably wouldn’t order them myself, but they were pretty darn good…a warm, soft Oreo cookie!  All that was missing was ice cream!

So, that doesn’t actually sum up our Stampede experience…the Department of National Defense was on site and let’s just say that handguns and tanks are FUN!  But that’ll be for another entry. *wink*

Chilling out with Macy 🙂

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1 Comment

  1. Re your veterinary-OBGYN experience… I’m sure Simon would let you have a go with one of the wee black coos any time you’d like!


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